Sith Lord Kur’tns Phor-Yue: infamous in the Zabada Quadrant for his twisted intellect, cruelty, and dry wit. Rumors circulated for years that he held a third Skywalker sibling, Barney (half-wit and half-brother to Luke and Leia), prisoner on Xeb’ex’s third moon. Because Barney represented little strategic value few efforts were made to rescue him and virtually no mention is made of him in any Rebel literature. However, there is an Empire document detailing “Jedi Master” Cipp Urrin’s attempt to invade Xeb’ex-M3 and retrieve “something really cool. Skywalker cool.” Cipp Urrin is most notable for having been rejected from the Jedi Academy six times and for having a metachlorian count among the lowest recorded in any human (three per cell). The title of “Jedi Master” was allegedly given to him by Yoda’s cousin, Yodoo, to “make him go away.” Through unknown means Cipp was able to acquire a slightly damaged adegan crystal. Then, soliciting help via Dengar’s List, Cipp was able to bribe an actual Jedi to construct a lightsaber-like device. Due to the crystal’s inclusions the plasma blade extending out of the saber’s handle was shorter than a typical lightsaber, although still functional. It was shortly after this that Cipp arrived on Xeb’ex-M3. Video surveillance gives us a clear record of what ensued. Cipp successfully impersonated an Intergalactic Courier and was able to infiltrate Lord Kur’tns Phor-Yue fortress. Upon gaining entry he immediately brandished his lightknife and punctured a decorative vase. Shortly thereafter a confrontation ensued between Cipp and a table. Kur’tns Phor-Yue can be seen entering the frame waving his arms angrily. Cipp seems to do a dance while waving his lightknife back and forth. Suddenly the lightknife falls and Cipp reaches for his neck as though being chocked by some invisible force. In a few moments he crumples to the ground. Kur’tns Phor-Yue picks up the lightknife, rifles through Cipp’s pockets and walks away. At some point Sith Master Kur’tns Phor-Yue apparently developed a type of interdimensional force-shifting. Guess which dimension he likes best? Guess which knife company he shops at? Having lived on Earth peacefully for several years he’s decided it’s time to part with his pocket lightsaber. “Put it on consignment or I’ll destroy you” he told our staff. Over time Sith Lord Kur’tns Phor-Yue has personally upgraded many aspects of the knife. The handle is gold-plated, CNC machined platinum and fitted with lightning strike carbon fiber inlays that glow blue when powered up. Inside the handle the Adegan crystal is mated to a diatium power cell (with a back-up nano power cell) to create the powerful light particulate blade. Just a slide of the button activates the lightsaber beam. Pull the button back and the blade shuts off with a satisfying “bbbbbzzzzzz uuuuugoooonnn zzzzzup.” The utmost care must be taken when handling the “live” pocket lightsaber OTF, as it is capable of effortlessly cutting and piercing any material. Due to the nature of the internal reactions, cooling fins have been integrated within the handle to dissipate heat, but extreme temperatures are unavoidable and we suggest gloves be worn while operating the knife (the force can also be used to produce a shield between the handle and the user’s hands). The Pocket Lightsaber is not for everyone, but if you’ve got what it takes to handle this advanced instrument and money is no object, then this is your ticket up the social ladder!